Job

Job 42:2-6
I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.

some Psalms

Psalm 120:1-2
I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me. Save me, O Lord, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.

Psalm 130:1-2
Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.

Psalm 142
I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life. I cry to you, O Lord; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living." Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.

Psalm 143:7-10
Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your goodSpirit lead me on level ground.

Psalm 119:65-72
Do good to your servant according to your word, O Lord. Teach me knowledge and good judgement, for I believe in your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. Their hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.

Psalm 119:49
Remember your word to your servant for you have given me hope.

Psalm 119:9-11
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Psalm 116:1-2
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

Psalm 102:1-2
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry for help come to you. Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly.

THANK YOU

disconnect

i think i'm gonna disconnect from the world again. i've done this before and while it is fairly lonely i'm pretty sure that my life is damn lonely anyway. the only difference really is that i don't call anybody and don't have to deal with wondering if people ever actually wanna hang with me or if when they do its only cuz they have nothing better to do. although, i guess that's not that bad anyway but whatever. alright, i do kinda feel bad when i disconnect because i assume that i have at least one friend out there that would like to know what's going on with me. so for that person, i feel bad. but i don't rule out the possibility that that one person doesn't actually exist (outside of my family, but my family doesn't get cut off). actually, for the most part, i actually don't believe that person exists. so when i disconnect, i disconnect from people who sorta like me, but their lives aren't very much affected by my presence (or lack of). i'm just so tired of making an effort with people who wont. everybody who knows me knows that i'm more emotional than all men (and most women). but they should also know that as long as they're honest with me from the start, we wont have any problem. this is where the problem is, and it seems like every blog that has to do with how i'm actually feeling is going to deal with this.....why the fuck aren't people honest? its really not that difficult to just tell someone the truth. this is why i disconnect. this is why i feel the need to not talk to anybody for a while. i absolutely HATE being lied to. i HATE the feeling of not knowing whether what someone just told me is 100% true, mostly true, a little true, or straight bullshit. anyway, i don't know what else i can say that i haven't already said lots of times. i just want people to show me the respect that i show them. "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is that how it goes? cuz in my life it seems more like, "it doesn't matter what you do unto others cuz they're always gonna treat you like shit" last comment, just to clarify -- i am definitely going to disconnect, i just haven't decided when i'm going to do it. i guess it'll be a surprise. but when i do, it will be until july 11 (yes, there's a reason why i chose that date)

disclaimer: i know there's a few of you out there that really love me and what not. clearly my bitter comments aren't meant for you.

soflo

i went to soflo this past weekend. it was SO GOOD. i didn't really do much of anything, but still it was awesome. on sunday, my mom said to me, "i have no life" and i got pissed off and yelled at her. i couldn't believe she said that. i mean, i kinda understand where she's coming from but here's how i see it and this is what i told her. i was there friday, saturday and sunday and each one of those nights the entire family was together for dinner. its not like its anything special, there were no "occasions" we just all got together and had dinner, watched tv, talked, made fun of eachother. its not like this was going on just cuz i was there, this is something that happens pretty much every night, the only thing that changes is whose house everybody goes to. so when my mom said she had no life, i asked her, "do you have any idea what i do on a daily basis?" here's what i do, for the most part. i wake between 10am-noon. watch pointless tv, take a shower. go to work. come home from work. watch a movie. go to sleep. start over. i was in heaven for those three days. granted, i didn't have to work, but still, just having family around for a couple of hours during dinner is a hell of a lot better than what i have up here. i'm feeling pretty darn good about moving now.

french fries

i love french fries. they're so delicious. i'm going to go get some now.

positivity

so i was told recently that my blog was too negative. there is a reason for that. here is the reason. usually, when i feel the need to get something off my chest its because i'm upset or angry about something. so when i finally decide to get write in my blog it comes out negative because i'm writing about something that's eating at me. but anyway, i'll tell you about last night. it was awesome! i was the ONLY one that wasn't depressed. some things happened and the two dudes i was hanging with were both depressed. but it was cinco de mayo and with my being mexican and all, i refused to be depressed about anything...it was my night! plus i was reminded of one reason why its a very good thing that i'm not with my ex anymore. that didn't actually make me happy, but it made me feel satisfied with that situation (or at least my half of that situation, cuz her half actually makes me sick...but i digress...). so yeah, last night was pretty cool. a female friend also came over and that was cool because she is NEVER depressed so the guys couldn't bring me down at that point cuz she was there to keep my happy mood going. OH, here's a topic that came up which totally disgusts me! the three of them decided to talk about how boneless chicken wings are actually better than regular wings because you don't have to deal with the whole bone situation. what kind of ridiculous crap is that?! there is nothing that is better than regular wings. if you don't have to deal with the whole bone situation then guess what....they're not wings!!! they're chicken tenders and they're gay! and anyone that eats them as a replacement for wings is gay as well. so there. wings are the best, they rule!! alright, that's enough.